"You will probably not know your soulmate right away" ~Deb Melton

Many people believe in love at first sight. Now, I'm not saying that never happens, however I do believe that it is rare. Most relationships take time to develop. It is impossible to know someone well enough within a few hours or a few dates or even a few weeks, to decide if they are really the one for you.

When I was in college we use to have a saying, "Nothing good happens fast." What was meant by this was that, if you went out with someone and there was immediate and intense fireworks, you know the kind, like rockets going off! There was a better than average chance that it would explode and be over with quickly. It's like a sparkler. You light it. It is bright, pretty and exciting while it lasts, but the intensity is over before you know it. When you rely too much on chemistry to determine who you want to go out with and who you don't, you are setting yourself up to miss an opportunity that may turn out to be the most fulfilling relationship of your life.

The basis of a lasting, satisfying relationship is a solid friendship, common values and a sense of purpose and direction that is aligned with each other. This takes time to discover. So when you meet someone don't go solely by the fireworks. Instead follow the gentle tug on your heart that lets you know that this could be someone you could feel comfortable with for life. Then let the friendship develop without expectations of something more. As that foundation is strengthened, the fireworks you seek won't be far behind. And this time it will last a lot longer than a sparkler!