The first step is to write a profile, to be real and honest about yourself; right a nice and short essay about yourself, and what you are looking for in the women (no negative remarks like "I do not want anyone with issues or hung ups"; then it is the time to look through the data base, find the possible matches through a search criteria, and the contact the members.

For men: when contact the women, don't use the old pick up lines; the good idea to let the member know that you have read their profile, and you are curios about this person. Give them a chance to see who you are as well, by reading your online profile.

Do not disregard anyone because of their shortcomings and issues ; perhaps you see yourself in this person, or you also have certain things about yourself, your friends and family do not tell you about or put up with.

In general, people do adjust (not change) to each other, to their partners life stile and interests; some of us also come down a little bit coming from unpredictable single life style...So, at the end of the day, you may be very happy with the person you chose...

If you have similar interests, ask about and share the similar topics; if you get positive responses back, and not just short answers, pursue your conversation further. See if she is available and is interested to meet you somewhere for a casual drink.

If she wants to talk more, about you, do not hesitate and say that you want to share that info when you meet her!Women feel comfortable to have some conversation with you; we need to hear "safe language" from you to know it is ok to go out with you (women know what I am talking about). So, talk to her, be honest but remember to not get to carry away; you can be sexy but not vulgar; you can be witty but not arrogant; you can be funny but not sarcastic!

I promise you will get somewhere with that! Just picture that this women is one of your friends (who you do not have to impress), and you are having a very friendly conversation.

I have a lot of friends (men and women) who are single; and I always think why these mature, intelligent, beautiful people can't they find anyone they can get along with. These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed. I have had a lot of conversations with my friends trying to analyze why this happened, and I hear the same things over and over again. Their past interferes with their present. They feel like they've been hurt before, so they set them self up for failure. I think some of my friends are so used to been disappointed with meeting new people, so they actually provoke their dates, without really giving them a fare chance! With some of my female and male friends I see the same patterns of sabotaging the date for the failure, by over analyzing every ward the person said, and coming to irrational conclusions about the date and the person. Give the person a chance to explain, elaborate, before you Wright them off as a "bad seed". I always say to my friends, that if you find 80% in common with some one, you need to be able to except imperfections, other person's downfalls as well; No one is perfect, neither are you. So, if you think you will have to put up with someones shortcomings, do not forget that your partner will have to do deal with yours! So, try to be open minded, and more excepting to other people,...you never know what you may find!

We all had bad experiences with this online dating, but it doesnt have to stop you from finding the right match!

Regards, Tanya.